Tag Archives: enjoying style

Nothing to wear? It’s not necessarily a fashion issue

Recently, I was 20 minutes late for dinner because I faced a problem that I am sure every woman has come across at least once in her life: I had nothing (appropriate) to wear. Let me re-phrase that. I had nothing to wear from two wardrobes full of clothes. And did I mention I was only going for a movie at my local cinema so dressing up was not necessary?

Having a wardrobe full of clothes yet nothing to wear is described as a common problem for many women but it is not usually my problem. Those, who know me, may be smiling as they are reading this, because I have a lot of clothes and I invest a lot of effort into looking after my clothes and ensuring they match. I love creating new looks and putting outfits together. I approach each outfit as if it were a blank canvas and clothes in my wardrobe are my paints. It’s a daily creative process, that is so much more than putting on weather and occasion appropriate clothes. So when I say I have nothing to wear it is like saying I have no imagination or desire.20131211-234026.jpg

I was so upset to find myself in this situation (not to mention annoyed when I had to tidy up all the clothes I threw on my bed in a desperate attempt to see something suitable), that I decided something needs to change. First thing I had to do was to become still to be able to reflect on what was happening in my life, because I knew that with all the clothes that I have, having nothing to wear is a symptom of something else that has little to do with my actual wardrobe. In my case it was a symptom of feeling uninspired, tired, stressed and overwhelmed for weeks. I realised I did not feel like sharing myself (no blogging, no photography, no catching up with friends), I only wanted to stay in and hide. How incredible that I was going at such a fast speed that I was unable to notice all this and needed my clothes to “tell” me the truth.

Having this ‘mini crisis’ had some benefits. I decided to slow down, let go and bring back my self-case routine which I had been neglecting because I was ‘too busy’ during the pre-holiday season. Saying no to others, saying yes to me, establishing boundaries and de-cluttering helped me to slowly bring back my ability to enjoy life and style on a daily basis and notice all the beauty around me.

Enjoying a beautiful cup  of coffee not from a paper cup
Enjoying a beautiful cup of coffee not from a paper cup

Other women have shared their “clothes stories” with me and these stories helped me to see that our I-have-nothing-to-wear problem very often has nothing to do with the actual clothes.

So next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel you have nothing to wear, don’t rush to shops, instead ask yourself if there is another issue behind this.

  • Maybe you are not excited or uninspired about what you are dressing up for?

Do you struggle with getting ready for work every morning? Can it be that you don’t feel you fit in or are generally bored with your job? This is an opportunity to ask yourself important questions about your life.

I have worked with a woman who was completely uninspired about her wardrobe because she had no interest in her daily job. As soon as she changed her career, her interest in style and clothes returned.

Perhaps you are not excited about dressing up to go out. Is it possible that you are over-committing yourself and saying yes to things that don’t light you up? I do this from time to time (and have been doing a lot recently). Slowing down to connect with our desires and saying no to what we don’t feel inspired to do is important, especially during the hectic end of year season.

  • Body image issues

Another reason why you may not be excited about dressing up and think you have nothing to wear is poor body image. I have met many women who choose not to even look at themselves in the mirror because they don’t like what they see. Learn to appreciate your body, think about what parts of it you love most and dress it in a way that highlights these parts. This will help you to feel and act more confident. There are clothes for every body shape, if you would like to find out more, get in touch with me here.

  • Clutter

Clutter is one of the biggest barriers for inspiration and enjoyment in our lives. Clutter in our wardrobes is created when we shop because we are bored or want to fix an emotional issue by buying new clothes. But just as emotional eating, emotional shopping does not fix the actual issue, it only creates clutter in your wardrobe as you keep adding new items that don’t match anything else.

Mental ‘noise’, having too many things on your to do list, overbooked diary are all clutter too and prevent us from enjoying our style and lifestyle.

Whatever your form of clutter is, set time aside to remove it. I de-clutter my wardrobe regularly, but recently I have also freed up my diary by canceling what does not inspire me and scheduled time for dealing with my to-do list, delegating where possible. I feel a lot lighter as a result.

  • Buying new clothes

Of course, there are situations when having nothing to wear literally means that. It could be that your body shape has changed, you have changed lifestyle completely or moved to a country with completely different climate. Naturally, in these situations buying new clothes is the solution. My advice is to make sure you are shopping when you feel inspired and relaxed. You are more likely to be happy with your buys.

winter look2
Relaxed and enjoying my winter style

Have you felt you have nothing to wear recently? How do you deal with it? Are you currently putting the first thing on without even looking at yourself in the mirror? Are you in love with your style or do you fail to even acknowledge it on most days? I would love to hear about your experiences.

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Style lessons from Rome

Last weekend I was lucky to spend time in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, the eternal city, also known as Rome. What a beautiful experience it was: the views were breathtaking, the food was delicious, the people were lovely, there was an abundance of style and aesthetic inspiration everywhere.

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But the most inspiring thing of all to me is the local lifestyle, la dolce vita. For anyone who wishes to reconnect with pleasure and enjoyment, a trip to Rome is a must. Coming from busy London, here I managed to completely slow down and savour the flavours, smells and views that this beautiful city has to offer. Sitting in cafes, sipping delicious Italian coffee, I spent the entire afternoon enjoying one of my favourite activities – people-watching.20131009-163325.jpg

And this is what I learned from observing the locals.

Style is important, even off-duty

The famous Italian sense of style is not a myth, people in the streets of Rome look stylish, yet comfortable. What you will not find here so much is the extremely polished glamorous style that is typical for Milan. The style in Rome is a lot more relaxed and casual. But going for casual and comfortable clothes  does not mean compromising on style or neglecting your appearance.

Here are some examples from the street of Rome showing how to do casual weekend wear stylishly and in a feminine way. Think asymmetric necklines, ankle boots, leather jackets, soft fabrics, such as jersey and wool, simple dresses with statement accessories and, if nothing else, beautiful handbags. Handbags and shoes make an outfit as Roman women prove.

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While how you look is important, it is how you feel about yourself that gives you confidence and allure.

Beyond style, I was really impressed with how comfortable women in Rome appear to be with their femininity. They do not hide it, as so many of us often do. Even though I have not met many local women, just by observing them I noticed that they give off a vibe of relaxed confidence and allure that can only be present when a woman enjoys her femininity and her style.

This made me think about what can women (myself included), who do not live in the environment where la dolce vita is a standard way of living, do to get into that vibe?

These are the ideas I had in Rome while sitting in one of the piazzas watching the world around me:

  1. Take time to enjoy small things daily. For example, I decided no more drinking coffee from paper cups on the go for me. If I want one, I need to take a break from I am doing at that moment, find a space that inspires me and enjoy my coffee, slowly.
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  2. Listen more to your feelings and senses, they are the key to reconnecting with your femininity and radiating confidence and allure. Is there a body cream that makes you feel beautiful? Buy it and apply daily. Does wearing a designer handbag make you feel confident and stylish? Invest in it. If putting red lipstick on makes you feel more feminine, find the right shade and wear it. I am now practicing going with what feels right rather than the ‘sensible’ option.
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  3. Enjoy the way you look, enjoy your style. Take the time to get to know your body and learn to love it from inside and outside. Learn what clothes make you look your best, your most confident and radiant and say no outfits that don’t fit or don’t make you feel great.

    Enjoying dressing up in Rome
    Me, enjoying dressing up in Rome

If you wish to discover how to enjoy your style and how to look and feel beautiful and confident, book a free 30 minute discovery session with me.